I Pity The Fu
From DFTBA
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"I Pity The Fu" is a song by Molly Lewis and is the twelfth track on the compilation album, DFTBA Records, Volume One.
Notes
This song was written for Quick Stop Entertainment's Masters of Song Fu competition.
Lyrics
I used to get upset over giant paper cuts and math equations
Nothing stuck in my craw more than dog fights and shopping malls and tax evasion
And sexist tabloid culture and Brangelina and paparazzi
And proposition eight and discrimination and neo-nazis
But, anymore, these things don't seem to bother me
Ever since I started hanging out with Mr. T
He told me to stay out of drugs, and drink my milk, and treat my mother right
And I pity the fool who disagrees
I disliked Gwen Stefani for her weird-ass voice and that stupid hair of hers
And it felt like JK Rowling conspired to kill off all my favorite characters
I disliked all the people I had to write with on the commuter bus
If Nancy Grace and I were to meet, I would have kicked her in the uterus
But my attitude has had a total overhaul
Since Mr. T told me how to forgive them all
He said, Let the nay-sayers nay, I don't care what they say, it's all jibber-jabber anyway
And I pity the fool who can not rhyme
He said, I must go on, gotta help more kids, and gotta spread my knowledge
I said, T, please don't go, He said, "Hold it, Kid!" You're old, and you're in college
He said, You know all that I know, I can't teach you nothing, I swear it's true
Go out and live your life, because there's so much goodness in the world for you
Go watch as Bob Ross paints himself some happy trees
And those happy cows on tv make you happy cheese
And then he dug in his spurs,
And rode into the sky on that thing from the Never-Ending Story
And I pity the fool who messes with T
"What'chu talking 'bout, fool? I don't remember none o'that"
